Where's Alistair?
by Trishata96
Summary: Tinalla Tabrias has no idea where her lover has gone. Nobody does. So Tinalla asks Morrigan.


**Where's Alistair?**

**Summary: ****Tinalla Tabrias has no idea where her lover has gone. Nobody does. So Tinalla asks Morrigan.**

"Ali! Where are you?" Yelled Tinalla Tabrias. As she searched the camp for the sandy haired Templar. She looked over to Lelianna who shrugged her shoulders.

"Sorry, Ty. I haven't seen him." She said. Tinalla rubbed her forehead. Where could have he gotten to? Then Zevran came into the campsite, damping his wet hair with a towel.

"Hey, Zev. You seen Alistair? I need to talk to him." The Antivan shook his head.

"I'm sorry, my mighty goddess. He wasn't washing. I surely would have noticed." Tinalla shivered at Zevran sultry voice, knowing full well what the Assassin/whore meant. Couldn't the bloody elf stop flirting with everyone one? Luckily Sten came over.

"Kaden, I believe he went over to Morrigan's tent. He was mumbling something about his cheese supply being poisoned." Tinalla immediately groaned and buried her face in her hands.

Alistair had been retching for at least three days and to make things worse, he also got a dose of loose poo. Even Wynne had been confused as to what could have caused such a thing.

If that was Morrigan getting revenge on Alistair. Then he slightly deserved it. Two weeks ago, the Templar had encouraged her Mabari, Drake, to leave about two dead badgers and one half-eaten hare in the bag containing the witch's smallclothes. Alistair may have also persuaded Drake to show Morrigan his affection. It turned out Zevran was the only one who liked having his leg humped.

The aftermath had been Alistair hiding behind Shale while Sten restrained Morrigan. Oh and Zevran running around with his arse on fire. Tinalla had only just been able to calm down the furious witch. Alistair had been punished by having to carry Morrigan's backpacks for two days and kicked out of Tinalla's tent, so he'd had to sleep with Drake.

Alistair had only just been forgiven over the whole incident. And when Tinalla had allowed him back into her tent, he'd made sure to give her a very large dose of loving to make sure he was completely forgiven.

Tinalla smiled at the memory of that lovely hour of teasing Alistair and making him endure some very sweet torture from a week ago. Especially making him blush like mad, when she made him say a few dirty things.

Slowly the air became less colder as she approached Morrigan's Lean-to. The mage in question was currently sifting though a book, looking very worried and scared.

"Hello, Morrigan." Tinalla jumped back startled as Morrigan gave a scream and almost leapt out of her boots.

"What in the maker's name is wrong with you? Nobody's ever been able to scare you." Morrigan's golden eyes whipped around her surroundings.

"What? Oh… I-I I was so engrossed in that grimore that I didn't hear you. That and I was up to a fairly detailed account of how mother disposed of one of he lovers." Instead of the usual superior air Morrigan wielded about herself, it'd been replaced by a sudden nervousness.

"Okaay… Have you seen Alistair? Nobody's seen him and Sten said he came up HERE. Something about his cheese supply being poisoned." Morrigan's eyes darted to a blanket and box next to her sitting place.

"Yes, the fool did come up here accusing me of such a thing. But… then he suddenly needed to relieve himself." Morrigan replied in an uneven tone. Tinalla raised one of her black eyebrows.

"Fine, I'll check in the woods…" Tinalla was interrupted by a sound from the wooden box which Morrigan was constantly looking at.

"RIBBIT!"

Morrigan's face blanched as the elf's eyes widened and the pieces were put together.

"Morrigan."

"Yes?"

"Did you turn my lover into a frog?"

"*Gulp* Erm… No?"

"RIBBIT!"

Morrigan turned tail to run when Tinalla cracked her knuckles.

She didn't get very far…

Alistair listened from within the box as Morrigan got her comeuppance. The screams soon brought heavy footsteps over.

"Tinalla! Stop strangling Morrigan!" Came Lelianna's voice. There was a scuffle and many curses off Ty.

"She turned Ali into a frog!" Screeched Tinalla, she sounded very distressed.

"I didn't mean to…"

"You lying bitch!"

"Okay!" I did mean to. But in a moment of anger. I was trying to reverse it, but I had to keep him safe."

_Well that's a bloody understatement!_

After he'd realised what the witch had done and squirmed out of the pile of armour, he'd leapt at Morrigan, who expertly grabbed him and stuffed him into the cramped box.

"You never bothered to learn the reversal spell?" Exclaimed Wynne. Suddenly the box swayed. Then the lid removed. He looked up with his now huge eyes to see Wynne.

"Oh my." Was all the elderly mage could say. Alistair finally managed to see what was happening outside. Morrigan was curled up on the floor in a protective ball. Meanwhile Sten was keeping a murderous elf at bay. Alistair couldn't help but howl with laughter at the expression on Morrigan's face. Well, the laughter come out as a series of croaks.

"Please, give me five minutes and I'll be able to change him back." Pleaded Morrigan as she began scouring the grimore for the reversal spell. She also pulled out his armour and clothes from their hiding place. Lelianna's eyes widened as she realised what that meant.

"Sten keep Ty restrained. Wynne, Zevran we should leave them to it." Said the red-head as she headed back to camp.

_Thank You Lelianna! The last thing I want is that elf leering at me._

"Are you sure you're not feeling any side effects?" Asked Wynne as she felt Alistair's forehead for the umpteenth time. Alistair rolled his eyes and batted the hand away.

"Yes I am. You really should be checking up on Morrigan. Or the bits of her after Tinalla's finished with her." As if on cue there was another scream for mercy off Morrigan. After a while Tinalla strode back into the camp. She plonked herself next to Alistair and began checking him over.

"Maker's breath! I'm fine, Ty, no need to fuss over me." He exclaimed, fed up.

"Yes. The squishy thing is perfectly fine. I believe it's only trauma it's suffering from and being smothered." Said Shale from her speck near Sten. There was a belch over by Oghren's as the dwarf raised his head. He'd passed out a few hours ago from excess drinking, as normal.

"Huh… what's the bloody commotion? And why was that witch screaming?"

"The Warden was punishing the swamp witch for turning her squishy thing into a frog." Replied Shale but the dwarf had already passed out. Alistair noticed Tinalla's ebony black hair was a mess. The cropped hair was always swept backwards, but now it was sticking up. Tinalla protested slightly as her lover smoothed back her hair.

"Hush. You look a mess. And I still need to thank you fully." He whispered into her ear. Her silver eyes immediately glistened with desire, when she worked out what the reward was.

Grinning he led Tinalla into their tent. Ignoring the giggles off Lelianna.

_They can think what they want. I need to get those memories out of my head._

Morrigan examined the deep hole she had been thrown into. Normally she would turn herself into a crow and fly out. But it appeared that that fool had taught Tinalla Templar abilities. It seemed she'd have to spend the night down here, alone and cold. Until Tinalla let her out. Morrigan shifted slightly to make herself more comfortable. Her body moaned it's disagreement. The witch glanced down at the bruises already forming.

_That is the last time I get on Tinalla's bad side. Perhaps I ought to stop this feud with Alistair and keep it to verbal arguments._

**Right Alistair fan girls, please don't kill me for making Alistair's worst nightmare come true. I'm a Alistair fan girl myself (My female wardens always fall for him." At least Morrigan got punished.**

**Trishata96**


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